{{NSFW}}What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in guerrilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You really are an idiot, do you think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the world and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. I will grill your piles, and serve them up as jumbo hot dogs to your mum and dad, I will smear your insides with tuna, hang a fishing hook down your throat, and hook out your organs one by one, I will even fucking rip your small intestine out your mouth, and rip your large intestine out your butt, and use you as a skipping rope. You want to know why? Becuase I have had it with your motherfucking bullshit on this motherfucking planet. How many fucking meds have you been taking? Let me tell you something bub, you rotten no good twoforbrains! The truth is, you were always a fucking asshole who loved to make other people's lives miserable. You've wanted to fuck every woman you see behind your girlfriend's fucking back. There is no place for traitors in this world, you shitlicking cock monkey. Also, this aftertaste in my mouth reminds me of pumpkin pie, which I hate, so I'll associate you with it, you fucking no good dickshit. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire N.A.T.O. arsenal and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. You little ameoba-fucking tardigrade, if only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you damn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, and a weasel. I take that back; you are a festering pustule on a weasel's rump. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a vulgar little maggot. Don't you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum and I wish you would go away. You are a bleating fool, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformation. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating one. Try to edit your writing of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly. You snail-skulled little rabbit. You make me want to cruch your skull. You make me want to rip out all of your limbs slowly and then cautrerize the stumps. You make me want inject you with some medications that will decrease your norepinephrine levels, so that you spiral into a horrible depression, eventually become suicidal, and kill yourself. That way you go to your grave knowing that not only did I kill you, but I made YOU kill you. Would a hawk ever dare to pick you up? Only to drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. Do you really expect your delusional and incoherent ramblings to be read? Everyone plonked you long ago. Do you fantasize that your tantrums and conniption fits could possibly be worth the $0.000000001 worth of electricity used to send them? Your life is one big W.O.M.B.A.T., and your future doesn't look promising either. We need to trace your bloodline and terminate all siblings and cousins in order to cleanse humanity of your polluted genes. The good news is that no normal human would ever mate with you, so we won't have to go into the sewers in search of your git. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a loathsome disease, a drooling inbred cross-eyed toesucker. You make Quakers shout and strike Pentecostals silent. You have a version 1.0 mind in a version 6.13 world. Your mother had to tie a pork chop around your neck just to get your dog to play with you. You think that www.GuyMacon.com/flame.html is the name of a rock band. You believe that P.D.Q. Bach is the greatest composer who ever lived. You prefer L. Ron Hubbard to Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle. Hee-Haw is too deep for you. You would watch test patterns all day if the other inmates would let you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. You are a fiend and a sniveling coward, and you have bad breath. You are the unholy spawn of a bandy-legged hobo and a syphilitic camel. You wear strangely mismatched clothing with oddly placed stains. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just knowing that you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. You are jetsam who dreams of becoming flotsam. You won't make it. You march around town begging for money in hopes of buying yourself a life. I beg for sweet death to come and remove me from a world which became unbearable when the bioterrorists designed you. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. You are a thick-headed trog. I have seen skeet with more sense than you have. You are a few bricks short of a full load, a few cards short of a full deck, a few bytes short of a full core dump, and a few chromosomes short of a full human. Worse than that, you top-post. God created houseflies, cockroaches, maggots, mosquitos, fleas, ticks, slugs, leeches, and intestinal parasites, then he lowered his standards and made you. I take it back; God didn't make you. You are Satan's spawn. You are Evil beyond comprehension, half-living in the slough of despair. You are the entropy which will claim us all. You are a green-nostriled, crossed eyed, hairy-livered, goisher kopf, inbred trout-defiler. You make Ebola look good. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective...maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. You are so clueless that if you dressed in a clue skin, doused yourself in clue musk, and did the clue dance in the middle of a field of horny clues at the height of clue mating season, you still would not have a clue. If you were a movie you would be a double feature; _Battlefield_Earth_ and _Moron_Movies_II_. You would be out of focus. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. In that case, I will come into your house at night, slit your throat, drink all you blood, cut out your organs, put them in a blender and drink them through a straw. However, since you are completely beyond that point, I won't even bother reading the rest of your post. After all, it just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you. You immature fuckwit. You asslicking cockfucker, you dumbass, you cuntpunter, you roach raping scumbag fucking jizz lobbing maggot eating cumstain of society. You donkey fucking unbearable redneck lunatic hillbilly shithead. You're a nerdy ass eating pathetic sack of shit. You can stick your fucking hand up my ass and jack off my shit for all I care, you cumguzzling scat lover. I'd piss on your grave, you immature, fucked up, shitty faced dustmite of society. You are an asswiping shitstain who deserves to have his cock shoved up the vagina of an STD ridden Victorian 19th century prostitute. I hope she's HIV positive so your miserable life will be put to an end, you greasy unbearable motherfucking dick-licker cuntmuffin. You and your family are gonna die out of cancer, I promise. I hope you suck the dick of an 80 year old man who has cauliflower STDs, you worthless insane redneck jizz rag who should have his ass shoved up an air vent so your anus can get sucked inside out while I laugh as I see your corpse fall, you unholy freaky childish jizzrag. You think you're so cool, huh? Well fuck you, you old bastardly smelly nutsack eating sad ugly shitstained fuckface. You're an awkward motherfucking hideous man-slut and I hope whatever diety there is will shit fury and rage upon your miserable piece of shit life. You think you can get the fuck away with what you did to me? Well I got news for you, you fucking freaky insane failure of a man. You're a bitchy fucking mother-fucking donkey-fucking dinosaur dick. You deserve to have a male Tyrannosaurus Rex ram his massive 300 inch cock up your useless anus while his female counterpart chews your head off slowly. You are a worthless sack of banana-raping shit eating monkey jerking hopeless ass-eating putrid fuckface banging shitbrain and you deserve to be shot in the head twice over, you useless shitrag. You dirty creepy fat nazi. You rude plebeian miserable bag of slug shit. You gangly worthless ridiculous shitdickhead. I can't believe you expect to get away with what you did to me, you gangrene infested shitforbrains asslicker. You unholy old decrepit dicklicker. You dick eating piss drinking ass eating lunatic. I will fucking behead you, and then I will dig out your grave and take a huge yellow stream of piss onto your corpse, you asslicking assfish of the world. I hope you get your ass kicked so hard that your anus gets so inverted it turns into a penismonkey. I hate you, you shit eating cockforbrains. Die in a ditch slowly.
P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good. So go cry me a fucking river for all that I care, you lying sack of neutralized fresh cow shit straight from the anus of Clarabelle motherfucking cow. Go hump your great great great great grandma's corpse, you assbeating dick riding cocaine sniffing cockmonkey assaholic cum drunk semen shitting ball pissing shit pooping ass fucking rapist.
I Hope This Helps...You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
Sincerely,
The International Institute of FUCK YOU